Total Trinity Transformation

I’m Stressed TF OUT!

In a blur of caring for my 3 children and navigating the many trials life had been throwing my way I found my body to be so tense and overwhelmed and I felt like complete crap. As a stay-at-home mom of three, it can be difficult to get a moment of alone time as it seems that someone is always needing me or there’s always something needing to get done. Due to my husband working extra shifts, no immediate family near us, nor having any other form of back up child care I didn’t have the option of having some child-free time. I was burning out and had to think of something. Since I didn’t have the option of a child-free day how could I unwind so that I wasn’t feeling so much stress, overwhelm, and over-stimulation to show up for myself and my family in my best light? Great question.

Have you ever found yourself in the throws of life that caused you to deviate from your normal self-care routine? Or do you even have a self-care routine because at one point I didn’t. Maybe you don’t have children, but you’ve been working without pause for a while. Maybe you’ve been building something that you’ve dreamed about for so long, and you are starting to resent the project because you haven’t taken a break since you’ve started. Or maybe your stressors are people that you encounter regularly. Whatever the reason, it does you no good to push past the point of exhaustion. Our bodies were not created to run continuously and we all need periods to rest and recover. There is no amount of caffeine that will keep you awake when your body has tapped out, trust me, I know, but there are plenty of ways to unwind so that you can keep performing at your highest level.

What is stress? Stress is our body’s response to pressure.

Many different situations or life events can cause stress. It is often triggered when we experience something new or unexpected that threatens our sense of self or when we feel we have little control over a situation. If you are a control freak whether current or recovering you can recount just how tense you feel when things are not going in a manner that you anticipated. Wanting to be in control is often a response to childhood trauma in which you felt you had very little or no control over so as an adult you aim to control everything in order to get a desired result, but this ends up causing you stress because we really have no control on things that reside outside of us. We cannot control the weather, we cannot control other people ( although you may try, but eventually it fails) or how they view us, we cannot control animals, we can’t control time, etc. What we can control is our reactions to the many things life throws our way and not the actual event itself.

Think about a time that you were doing something completely new or very unfamiliar. For me, this was entering my very first bodybuilding show. I was so stressed out that entire prep because I was in the unknown. I didn’t know the “proper” way to diet for a show nor did I know how to pose, I didn’t know what the judges would look for, and I didn’t know what to expect in general. And to be completely honest, I didn’t know if my body would be “show ready”. I was worried about a lot, but the main thing that stressed me out was not having a clear idea of what I would look like at the end of prep. I was also terrified at the thought of being on stage in a bikini in front of X amount of people because I hadn’t been in a two piece bikini in a very long time since having kids. There I was completely in the unknown and the one thing I kept telling myself that prep is to keep going, because quitting wasn’t an option. Well, after doing that show the resistance my body felt the entire prep had lifted, I knew I had expanded my limit line, and I now had a new found confidence in my ability to get to the stage.

That prep taught me that being in the unknown is ok, in fact the unknown is exactly where you want to be, because it’s in those moments you get to design your life. If you’re doing things you’ve always done you will keep getting the results you’ve always gotten. So that prep pushed me so far out of my comfort zone that I was cellularly different and it was literally impossible for me to go back to my former self. I now understand that not all stress is bad stress and that sometimes that resistance you’re feeling is exactly what you need in order to go to the next level, BUT that does not mean we need to just push through and ignore the stress. Even on that prep I needed to take breaks to reset my mind. Once your body is feeling stressed it’s going to do everything it can to try to make you quit doing that thing. One of the ways it does this is by sending your brain a “stress alert.”

Once your body has produced the stress hormones your brain will begin an analysis to determine the cause of the threat, after the threat has been identified, in my case the rigorous training and diet I was on, I started having all sorts of negative thoughts. Those thoughts ranged from can I do this to why am I doing this to this is pointless so on and so forth and there were times that the negative thoughts almost won, but due to my ability to push past those thoughts and use the techniques below I was able to reduce the stress on my body, expand my limit line, and conquer something I once considered a pipe dream.

5 Ways to Manage and Reduce Stress

1. Journal

Keeping a journal is a great way to get to the bottom of your stress. By writing out your thoughts you transfer them from your head to your paper or device and you now have a physical account of everything that’s been worrying you. You then free up the mental space that was used to worry, be anxious, and stressed and it allows you to find possible solutions to your issues. Stress takes up so much space in our heads because it causes us to not only think about our current issues that are causing us stress, but you will think of every past experience that caused you stress as well. So get yourself a notebook or open the notepad app and write out those thoughts, you may even surprise yourself with new ideas in the process.

2. Release your inner child

Just because we physically age, doesn’t mean we have to give up having fun. What types of things make you laugh that you haven’t done in a while? Do you like to dance, color, or paint? Do you like to do impressions, make silly faces, or shadow puppets? I love to watch my favorite cartoons from childhood as they bring me back to my inner child and helps me to process my feelings. What was something that brought you pure joy as a kids? Whatever that thing is try doing more of it and watch how your stress levels begin to decline.

3. Go on a nature walk

Nature energy is the purest energy on Earth. Breathing in the fresh air, listening to the sounds of the animals, and soaking in the natural energy of the Earth does wonders for calming the mind and body. Natural environments promote calmness and well-being in part because they expose people to low levels of stress. In our everyday lives we are exposed to so many things. There’s traffic, people ( sometimes angry people), television, cell phones and other electronic devices that give off there own frequencies and for a lot of us this constant over stimulation causes us to become desensitized and when we have a moment of silence we are unable to sit still. As humans, we are able to cope with some stimulation and stress but once the threshold has been reached we run the risk of becoming irritable, depressed, and tired. Nature helps to restore our minds, bodies, and spirits, while helping us feel more connected to ourselves and others. It doesn’t matter if you go for a walk through the woods, swim in a river or lake or just sit beneath a tree. As long as you’re comfortable and at ease, immersing yourself in a natural environment can improve your mood and boost your resilience to stress. It can also encourage a deeper sense of self-awareness, making the outdoors an ideal space for reducing stress.

4. Take a bath

There’s something about soaking in the tub after a long day that seems to give you a bone deep sense of relaxation. Studies have shown that taking a bath can activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which is the part of your body responsible for relaxation. As your nervous system adjusts to the warming effect of the water around you, you begin to experience lowered levels of stress. If you are feeling stressed or anxious, a bath can physically force your body to change how it processes that anxiety. The next time you find yourself needed a release try taking a warm bath with an essential oil like lavender and watch the stress begin to melt away.

5. Commune with God

I’m not here to force you to believe in God if you don’t. If you don’t believe in God that’s your business and I respect it and you can omit this solution and try 1-4. But if you are a believer of God no matter what religion you may practice, then taking some time out to commune with God can help you to reduce and manage your stress levels. To commune means to focus on God, converse, talk, often with profound intensity, intimate communication or rapport as sharing your heart and mind with God in prayer: an interchange of ideas or sentiments, derived from French “comun” meaning – common, to share. Remember that we are not designed to be in a constant state of stress and God desires for all of us to experience life to the fullest including the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. We are human and a part of being human is expression of emotions, but we mustn’t let our emotional state dictate the way we live our lives.

It’s important to commune with God and relay whatever has been weighing heavy on our hearts. Although God knows what we’re going through he wants us to come to him and build a relationship with him so that he can help us release the things that are blocking us so that we can become the best versions of ourselves. Just like we have a relationship with our physical father we have to have a relationship with our spiritual father. When you talk to God there’s no theatrics involved, you don’t have to speak in tongues, you don’t have to do what you see other people do, you just need to speak with him in a way that makes you comfortable. God wants you to come to him because he has so much in store for you and he wants to heal you from everything standing in your way. There’s no right or wrong way to speak with God, just start today.

Recap

There are many times on this journey of life that we will feel stressed and overwhelmed and that’s just a part of the human experience. But while it’s a part of our journey we were not designed to be in prolonged periods of stress. Five ways to reduce and manage stress are journaling, releasing your inner child, getting out in nature, taking a bath, and communing with God. I hope you find this as helpful as I do as it not only helps me with my day to day unwind, but the many challenges life throws my way. I wish you nothing but peace, love, and light. Until next time, this is Carlita Blair helping you skulpt your mind, one day at a time, with the help of the divine. Peace.